Menu Item #9: Bribe with a Side of Fries - Florida Food Inspectors Face Indictments

Written by: Sam Orlando

MIAMI, FLORIDA - In today’s episode of “Florida, Why Are You Like This,” two Miami-Dade food inspectors have been arrested for allegedly running a gourmet-style bribery operation—one that would make even Gordon Ramsay cry into his risotto.

According to investigators, the inspectors spent nearly a year shaking down local restaurants, demanding cash in exchange for not noticing things like moldy walk-ins, rat families in the deep fryer, or expired shrimp doubling as sushi.

Yes, Miami’s health inspection process has officially been brought to you by the mafia’s customer service division.

Dubbed “Operation Grease Trap,” this sting revealed a menu of extortion options that might’ve looked something like this:

• $300: We pretend we didn’t see that cockroach rave under the buffet.

• $500: We compliment your cleanliness and leave a five-star Yelp review.

• $1,000: We "accidentally" lose all your violations. And your competitors get surprise visits.

The inspectors allegedly targeted mom-and-pop businesses—the exact places already scraping by on tips, tenacity, and questionable fryer oil. Because, of course, if you're going to abuse public trust, why not go for the underdogs?

They now face charges that include bribery, extortion, and impersonating actual civil servants.

Officials say this kind of misconduct undermines the public’s trust in government. Or in Miami’s case, deepens the public’s complete lack of it.

So the next time you bite into a suspiciously undercooked empanada, just remember: it might have passed inspection thanks to a hundred-dollar handshake.